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Hi Brother Rhodes,
[...] While at BYU, I read some of John Gee's work on the Book of Abraham, and have since also digested all of Hugh Nibley's (and your joint work) material on it, as well as your own translation and commentary on the Hor Book of Breathings.
In the course of my studies I have found it impossible to reconcile my traditional LDS beliefs with the results of honest inquiry. For instance, I have taken my own look at the Kirtland Egyptian papers (including CWHN 18), and found solid connections that Dr. Nibley shrugged off as unimportant. Also, whenever I look at a copy of Joseph Smith Papyrus I, I can't help but notice the clear horus head on the hawk, and the dot pattern on the feathers of the wing that we keep trying to call a hand. I believe you have indicated as much, and I do not understand the variety of assertions that still vie for Joseph Smith's explanations being authoritative.
I don't feel the need to go on in any more details, of which you are far more aware than I. I also don't see how we can reconcile errors in the Textus Receptus being propagated in the Book of Mormon. When I took New Testament classes at BYU, I was thrilled with the field of textual criticism and the idea that we could potentially find variant readings that support the Mormon viewpoint. Unfortunately, the more I delved into the field, the less likely the authenticity of the Book of Mormon became. Why, for instance, would the spurious ending in Mark be quoted in Mormon 9:22-24, Ether 4:18, etc? Why the Comma Johanneum referenced in Ether 5:4? Why do problematic readings in Matthew get retained in 3 Nephi? Why, when an Old Testament scripture is referenced, does the New Testament version usually get repeated instead (Eg, 3 Ne 7:8 vs 2 Pet 2:22 vs Prov 26:11)?
In fact, the more and more I looked at it, the more and more it looked like a 19th century creation. It is too hard to live with the cognitive dissonance caused by chronological errors, internal inconsistencies, born again sermons (not quite LDS doctrine..), and sheer cultural nightmares when trying to view the text as authentic. I've read John Sorenson, and I've read Hugh Nibley -- their views on Nephite culture are quite dissonant. I've read BYU studies that have tried to find evidence for authenticity and I'm not convinced. It simply doesn't add up.
And this doesn't even begin to delve into matters like the dating and authorship of Isaiah, or Old Testament texts themselves, what Josiah actually did, etc. None of those issues were necessary to find myself quite convinced. The Book of Mormon speaks for itself. So does the Book of Abraham. They don't breathe authenticity.
I came to these conclusions independently, when I was 19 years old and on my mission (once I really converted to the Gospel at around 15, I was quite voracious in studying scriptures, church history, and words of the prophets). I chose to honorably fulfill that mission, come home and stay active in the church.
What are your reasons for staying active in the church? How do you honesty retain a believe in things for which most of the evidence seems to point against? I stay active for those around me, but I am conflicted by my choice. Is it right to deceive people when I really don't believe something? I feel betrayed somewhat, by yourself and teachers I had at BYU that certainly knew better (like Terry Ball using בתולה in Isaiah 7:14 when he darn well knew the word was עלמה), and by countless others in the world who seem to value their beliefs over intellectual honesty.
I have had to labor to buy original sources and read them to find out truths for myself. I am appalled by what we keep silent about. It feels to me like we're pushing our problems for future generations to solve, like people have done before us, and just look at the mess we're in today. Truth is truth. What right do I have to keep quiet about it? I can't accept not hurting others' feelings as an answer for much longer -- I worry about my own future children, and the world they'll be a part of. Surely ignoring truth just pushes conflict and pain onto their shoulders, simply because I couldn't bear to deal with it today.
I am quite interested in your thoughts. I respect your work and feel like you may have a far greater perspective than my own.
[...]
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